August 30, 2008

Who Hates Women (and So Many, Many Others) This Much?

One guess:
This chick flick, naturally, features a wild stroke of fate, when the two-year governor of an oversized igloo becomes commander in chief after the president-elect chokes on a pretzel on day one.

The movie ends with the former beauty queen shaking out her pinned-up hair, taking off her glasses, slipping on ruby red peep-toe platform heels that reveal a pink French-style pedicure, and facing down Vladimir Putin in an island in the Bering Strait. Putting away her breast pump, she points her rifle and informs him frostily that she has some expertise in Russia because it’s close to Alaska. "Back off, Commie dude," she says. "I’m a much better shot than Cheney."

Then she takes off in her seaplane and lands on the White House lawn, near the new ice fishing hole and hockey rink. The “First Dude,” as she calls the hunky Eskimo in the East Wing, waits on his snowmobile with the kids — Track (named after high school track meets), Bristol (after Bristol Bay where they did commercial fishing), Willow (after a community in Alaska), Piper (just a cool name) and Trig (Norse for “strength.”)

“The P.T.A. is great preparation for dealing with the K.G.B.,” President Palin murmurs to Todd, as they kiss in the final scene while she changes Trig’s diaper. “Now that Georgia’s safe, how ’bout I cook you up some caribou hot dogs and moose stew for dinner, babe?”
The prize goes to the person who can identify the greatest number of distinct categories of people who could legitimately take grave offense at this outpouring of vitriol parading as "clever" commentary. I stopped counting at ten. (The full article increases that number substantially.)

You know who wrote it.

I stand in awed astonishment. Once upon a time, it appeared that many "liberal-progressive" blogs were at odds with much of the mainstream media. "Appeared" was always the operative word. Now that many of those same blogs have united in certain crucial ways with those they once claimed to despise (that's what the acquisition of power will do for you and your pretense of honesty and integrity, especially when you are close to acquiring even more power), and now that misogyny and sneering contempt for anyone and everyone who isn't them spews forth without respite, they may just accomplish what very few would have thought possible: they'll get John McCain elected president.

I wouldn't have believed it in a lousy movie or a trashy novel. But they may make it come true.

See also: I Approve the Entertainment Value of This Campaign (which includes commentary on some of Palin's known policy positions)

And see: This