Helen Mirren, Dressed as Queen, Stops Gay Parade

Actually true. And she swore. A lot.

Unaccountably, they didn't mention that "Helen Mirren" is a drag act going way back. It's like post-modernist, deconstructivist whatchamacallit! Yeah, I know that "she" is married to Taylor Hackford. But ... Taylor Hackford? An Officer and a Gentleman? Everybody's All-American? Like, totally gay. Just saying.

Aw, I'm kidding. Or am I? (My favorite drag queen name is still from Torch Song Trilogy: Bertha Venation.)

P.S. C'mon, I adore Helen Mirren. Or "Helen Mirren." W/e.