Dumb Is Good

Mr. Smartypants Drudge links this story:

ABOARD THE USS ABRAHAM LINCOLN - The American aircraft carrier USS Abraham Lincoln has passed through the Strait of Hormuz, shadowed by Iranian patrol boats.

But there were no incidents on Tuesday as the Lincoln's battle group crossed through the narrow strait, which Iran has threatened to close in retaliation for tighter Western sanctions.

Several U.S. choppers flanked the carrier group throughout the voyage from the Gulf. Radar operators also picked up an Iranian drone and surveillance helicopter in Iran's airspace near the strait, which is jointly controlled by Iran and Oman.

The Lincoln entered the Gulf last month amid heightened tensions with Iran. It is scheduled to begin providing aiding [sic sic sic] the NATO mission in Afghanistan starting Thursday.

Okay. I'm calm. No, seriously, I am. Perfectly calm.

I guess I could make an obvious point. Well, it seems obvious to me, but hardly anybody seems to mention it. Lots of talk about the Strait of Hormuz. Ya know, Iran is right there on the Strait of Hormuz. I mean, right there. But okay. I guess the U.S. sends an aircraft carrier along with a battle group and even several U.S. choppers because those terrible Iranians have a fleet of warships floating right next to the southern tip of Manhattan. And then there are some of Iran's bombers flying practice runs along the Atlantic coast. Like, all the time, for months and months! So yeah, I'm sure that's the explanation.

Still calm!

And Iran "has threatened" to close the Strait of Hormuz in retaliation for sanctions, embargoes and other acts of war? Iran thinks it has the right to defend itself? Is the world going totally nuts?

And my God, there were "an Iranian drone and surveillance helicopter"! Wait, wait, just a sec. "In Iran's airspace"?? What the hell? It's a trick! It must be an evil, horrible trick!! Iran has its own airspace? When did that happen? I don't understand anything about this.

And the Lincoln will provide aid to "the NATO mission in Afghanistan"? I can't be obvious again, can I? Okay, just a smidge. Afghanistan is right there. I mean, you know where Afghanistan is? That's where it is. Why is NATO there? That's not where NATO is.

All right, I get it. I'm just stupid. And still calm! Yay!

This kinda reminds me of the time Rush Limbaugh was OUTRAGED! because those rotten commie Russians were spying on the U.S. (Rush said they're still commies. Rush knows things.) Rush said there couldn't be any reason for the rotten Russkies to do that, 'ceptin' that they're all, like, evil and stuff.

Just like this current story is totally mystifying to me (cuz I'm stupid, I get it), I couldn't follow what Rush was saying either. So I got all serious about it:

To put the actual point very bluntly: the Russians, along with the Iranians, along with everyone else in the world, are entirely justified in thinking that, if they are not on their guard and if they do not take all possible precautions, the United States will fuck up their shit. This is what it means to be devoted to a policy of American worldwide hegemony, enabled by, among other elements, a global empire of bases. The United States is intent, to the fullest extent it can, on fucking up everyone's shit. That's what the U.S. has been doing for more than a century. See, e.g., here, here and here.

But I get upset when I'm all serious like that.

So I'm not going to do it. I'm just gonna be stupid. And calm!

You can do it too! Yes, you can. Look, if you're not even going to try, I can't help you.

Dumb is good! I always wanted a religion. This is it! C'mon, it only hurts until lotsa brain cells die. Then you feel fine. And calm!

I like calm.