Everyone Agrees: Looting Is Always Wrong!
I would never be so foolhardy as to challenge what is indisputably the consensus view on any subject.
Thusly and therefore: Fucking colonists. What a bedraggled bunch of criminal, immoral, lazy, destructive bastards. And they didn't even use the tea. They just destroyed it! Goddamned nihilists. No moral compass! No self-discipline! And all because of some teeny little tax, all the while enjoying the lavish benefits that accrued to them as privileged members of the British Empire! Those rotten bums never heard of paying their fair share, or shared sacrifice?
To top it off, some of those criminal lowlifes didn't even have the courage of their rotten, immoral convictions -- so they pretended to belong to the already designated disfavored group, Native Americans. Because everyone who mattered knew what lazy, shiftless, immoral, criminal bastards they were. Well, once the colonists got their own racket going, they showed those uncivilized barbarians! A mere one hundred years later, almost none of them were left.
But what a downer that turned out to be. There was hardly anyone left to murder in these magnificent United States, unless you counted Black Americans. Nobody who mattered counted them. So all those upright, super-moral white boys, who simply loved murdering in a righteous cause, had to look farther afield. There's that American initiative for you!
Next stop: the Philippines! That was after a little warmup exercise in Hawaii, but nobody remembers that anymore. And after the Philippines, they never stopped.
They still haven't stopped today. In addition to all the righteous murder going on overseas, they're coming after you now. Whatcha gonna do?
Hmm ... ah ... well ... oh, I know, I know! Be sure to vote in the next election, and in every election! That'll fix up everything, lickety-split.
And for God's sake, whatever you do, don't loot! That is, like, totally wrong!
Everyone says so. And you probably shouldn't mention the Boston Tea Party. Certainly not to conservatives (need I spell out why? didn't think so), but not to liberals and progressives, either. Everyone says looting is wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong!
Anyway, the Boston Tea Party couldn't actually have been "looting." People who would soon be Americans did that, which makes it completely different. I know I don't have to explain that to good Americans like you. And don't even think of talking about how the ruling class is sucking up all the wealth of "ordinary" Americans, and now their lives, too. That can't possibly be looting! This is America!
Confused? That's because you're a criminal, immoral, lazy, rotten nihilist. And a potential or actual looter! You better keep that to yourself. Wait...oh, geez, Napolitano and Holder say they already know all about you. And I do mean all. But if you haven't done anything wrong, you don't have anything to worry about. This is America!
God bless us, every one. Except for the looters. And God bless America!
See also: Your Approval of History Is Irrelevant and Meaningless
Thusly and therefore: Fucking colonists. What a bedraggled bunch of criminal, immoral, lazy, destructive bastards. And they didn't even use the tea. They just destroyed it! Goddamned nihilists. No moral compass! No self-discipline! And all because of some teeny little tax, all the while enjoying the lavish benefits that accrued to them as privileged members of the British Empire! Those rotten bums never heard of paying their fair share, or shared sacrifice?
To top it off, some of those criminal lowlifes didn't even have the courage of their rotten, immoral convictions -- so they pretended to belong to the already designated disfavored group, Native Americans. Because everyone who mattered knew what lazy, shiftless, immoral, criminal bastards they were. Well, once the colonists got their own racket going, they showed those uncivilized barbarians! A mere one hundred years later, almost none of them were left.
But what a downer that turned out to be. There was hardly anyone left to murder in these magnificent United States, unless you counted Black Americans. Nobody who mattered counted them. So all those upright, super-moral white boys, who simply loved murdering in a righteous cause, had to look farther afield. There's that American initiative for you!
Next stop: the Philippines! That was after a little warmup exercise in Hawaii, but nobody remembers that anymore. And after the Philippines, they never stopped.
They still haven't stopped today. In addition to all the righteous murder going on overseas, they're coming after you now. Whatcha gonna do?
Hmm ... ah ... well ... oh, I know, I know! Be sure to vote in the next election, and in every election! That'll fix up everything, lickety-split.
And for God's sake, whatever you do, don't loot! That is, like, totally wrong!
Everyone says so. And you probably shouldn't mention the Boston Tea Party. Certainly not to conservatives (need I spell out why? didn't think so), but not to liberals and progressives, either. Everyone says looting is wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong!
Anyway, the Boston Tea Party couldn't actually have been "looting." People who would soon be Americans did that, which makes it completely different. I know I don't have to explain that to good Americans like you. And don't even think of talking about how the ruling class is sucking up all the wealth of "ordinary" Americans, and now their lives, too. That can't possibly be looting! This is America!
Confused? That's because you're a criminal, immoral, lazy, rotten nihilist. And a potential or actual looter! You better keep that to yourself. Wait...oh, geez, Napolitano and Holder say they already know all about you. And I do mean all. But if you haven't done anything wrong, you don't have anything to worry about. This is America!
God bless us, every one. Except for the looters. And God bless America!
See also: Your Approval of History Is Irrelevant and Meaningless
posted by Arthur Silber at 3:36 PM
<< Home