Culture Notes

Admittedly, I use the word "culture" in a criminally loose manner. But I suppose this was inevitable:

New York, New York - In a development that has the entire entertainment industry talking, Andrew Lloyd Webber has secured the rights to the Iraq Study Group Report which he plans to turn into an opera. Calling it his most ambitious project to date, Mr. Webber said, "Iraq Study Group Report, the Opera will be bigger than Jesus Christ Superstar, more moving than Cats, and a greater love story than The Phantom of the Opera. It will be my true masterpiece."

Andrew Lloyd Webber is responsible for more evil in the world than any other single human being, the sole exception being Dick Cheney. Other than that, I have no strong opinion about Lloyd Webber's oeuvre, and his "music." (In fact, it's not even his "music." It's everyone else's, ruined and cheapened in a manner for which water boarding would be kind and generous punishment.) By the way, that same item indicates that Jon Lovitz will play Cheney in the "opera," scheduled to open on Broadway in mid-May.

One of the comments (appropriately enough, from an obvious traitor named "pinko") lists the "musical" numbers on the two-CD set that will soon befoul our planet. On CD 2, we find:

1. "With A Guy Like You" (Bush/Cheney/Rove/Chalabi)
2. "Last Throes" (Cheney)
3. "The Boogeyman's Gonna Get Ya!" (Cheney)
4. "Got All Those Ducks in a Row" (Rove, Diebold chorus)
5. "But, But, But" (reprise); Abu Ghraib" (The Democrats' chorus, the Press Corps chorus)
6. "Stay the Course!" (Bush/Cheney/Rumsfeld)
7. "I'm the Decider" (Bush)
8. "Stand Up, Stand Down" (Bush, The Generals' chorus)
9. "About to Turn That Corner" (Bush/Cheney/Rumsfeld/Rice/Rove/Lieberman and the Neocon chorus)
10. "Vote, Vote, Vote" (Cheney/Rove/Bush/the Democrats' chorus)
11. "I have Bad News" (Rove)
13. "Forget About It" (Kissinger)
12. "Poppy" (G.H.W. Bush/James Baker/Brent Scowcroft)
13. medley: "Stay the Course" (reprise); "Last Throes" (reprise);"But, But, But" (reprise)"Forget About it" (reprise) (The Neocon chorus, The Press Chorus, The Generals' chorus)
14. Finale: "Does Anybody Know What To Do?" (ensemble)

Assimilated Press is a site new to me. There are some illuminating and instructive stories covered there, which the mainstream media mysteriously ignore. Dare to check it out.