Dear Mr. Siegel...

In an entry reporting some recent Limbaughian lies, I wrote:

Well, sez I to myself, this is pretty easy to check out. So I donned my internets exploring outfit and did some field work. (When I go exploring this way, I usually get an extra large cup of coffee, put on my LA Dodgers cap, and sometimes I even put my pants on. Yes, that's right: I often write half-nekkid! No pajamas for this boy.)

Since I divulged my dress habits in this manner, including the fact that, like some barbarian, I wear a baseball cap indoors, I feel obliged to respond to one Lee Siegel. Therefore:

Dear Mr. Siegel:

There is no place in all the universe, as far as blogofascists are concerned, where the dim murk, especially in the now-sweltering late afternoons, in the too damned hot Los Angeles summer, is more impenetrable than in MacArthur Park. It's big city murk, heavy and suffocating. It soaks into the sides of buildings, coats your lungs, yucks up the entire outsides of cars crawling along Wilshire Boulevard, and makes even yuckier puddles against the dim grey walls of the park where all the cakes are rotting in the murky, impenetrable, yucked-up rain.

Now that the phony lit crap is out of the way, I have to tell you that you, sir, are a wanker. You write: "The baseball cap's insinuation that life is a game with transparent rules gets to me." Transparent rules? Are you effing kidding me? Some of the most violent baseball disagreements are about some rule that nobody ever heard of, until some coach or manager makes a big deal out of it and everybody has to try to figure out what the hell it means. It's not a game for dilettantes like you, Siegel. No sirree.

You go on: "Also the insinuation that by wearing a baseball cap in inappropriate situations--like indoors--you have what it takes to break the rules and win the game." Where's your rulebook about "inappropriate situations" for certain items of clothing, Siegel? Packed away with your baseball rulebook? You, sir, are a double- or triple-wanker. And I'm here to tell you that a lot of us baseball-cap-wearing troglodytes do have what it takes to break your stupid rules and win the goddamned game.

Yeah, baby!

Oh, hell, what's the point. You must take some of Noonan's pills. Do all you self-designated elite journowankers share them or something? But I will mention one more thing to you, Siegel, about this: "When I see someone wearing a baseball cap in a movie theater, I want them to bring back the guillotine." You might want to check out an anger management program. Given world events, your rage seems just a tad misdirected.

And Mr.Siegel: life is a game. You lost. Very, very badly.

Non-wankerly yours,

"Some Troglodyte," who nonetheless remains cool and indifferent, 'specially to the likes of you