What Excellent Drugs Can Do

This column from Victor Davis Hanson -- the "Bard of the Booboisie" -- may eventually merit a chapter unto itself in a future edition of a book like...hmm, well, say, Clinical Studies in Extreme Aberrant Psychology: How to Find Your Bliss While the World Explodes Under Your Feet.

And, no small wonder, he manages to work in virtually every cliche of Iraq propaganda. For example, we have the line about how one more school will save our entire foreign policy: "the terrorists have an invaluable ally in the global media, whose 'if it bleeds, it leads' brand of journalism always favors the severed head in the street over the completion of yet another Iraqi school."

Shortly thereafter, the drugs take serious effect:

During this sort of waiting game in Iraq, the American military silently is training tens of thousands of Iraqis to do the daily patrols, protect construction projects, and assure the public that security is on the way, while an elected government reminds the people that they are at last in charge.

Say what? Oh, that's just "Pentagon officials" talking. What do they know? C'mon, get serious.

Then Vic pops a few more pills:

It is an odd war, because the side that I think is losing garners all the press, whether by blowing up the great golden dome of the Askariya shrine in Samarra, or blowing up an American each day. Yet we hear nothing of the other side that is ever so slowly, shrewdly undermining the enemy.

The Iraqi military goes out now on about half the American patrols, as well as on thousands of their own. It is not the Fallujah brigade of early 2004 — rather, it is developing into the best trained and disciplined armed force in the Middle East. While progress in reestablishing the infrastructure necessary for increased electricity and oil production seems dismal, in fact, much has been finished that awaits only the completion of pipelines and transmission lines — the components most vulnerable to sabotage. It is the American plan, in a certain sense, to gradually expand the security inside the so-called international or green zone, block by block, to the other 6 million Iraqis outside, where sewers run in the streets and power from the grid is available less than 12 hours per day.

Oooooh, so that's "the American plan," three years on: when the infrastructure finally works, it will work! When we can "gradually expand ... security" outside the green zone, then a few more blocks will be safe for human habitation. Just don't forget those "other 6 million Iraqis outside"! Then, presto magic, everything will be keen! I just didn't understand that before.

Besides, life is already peachy for us, so what are you griping about?

Most would agree that the Americans now know exactly what they are doing. They have a brilliant and savvy ambassador and a top diplomatic team. Their bases are expertly run and secured, where food, accommodations, and troop morale are excellent.

"Most would agree..." I love writing like that. Strong, persuasive, manly.

You should read the whole thing. Most instructive. And note the last paragraph:

Can-do Americans courageously go about their duty in Iraq — mostly unafraid that a culture of 2,000 years, the reality of geography, the sheer forces of language and religion, the propaganda of the state-run Arab media, and the cynicism of the liberal West are all stacked against them. Iraq may not have started out as the pivotal front in the war between democracy and fascism, but it has surely evolved into that. After visiting the country, I think we can and will win, but just as importantly, unlike in 2003-4, there does not seem to be much of anything we should be doing there that in fact we are not.

Hey, everything is against us -- including that &@*@&* "liberal West" -- and all the facts indicate that this is nuts. But we are not afraid!

It's downright inspiring. And what a glowing testament to the wonders of modern medicine. So listen up: if you have an ounce of kindness in your soul, you'll find out what he's taking. And then send me some.

Lots and lots. Ta.