July 01, 2018

The Year of Anxiety

The Age of Anxiety is not only an Auden poem (and a symphony by Bernstein, and two ballets, as well). It also appears that the phrase describes what may be my overall state of being for the next year.

Several days ago, I explained that the owners of my apartment building have begun the countdown to demolition. Fortunately, we have until the end of May of next year to vacate the premises. Even though that's a substantial period of time for relocation, I'm considerably overwhelmed by everything that must be done, especially given my age and physical limitations (which are severe at this point). And in the meantime, I still must pay rent each month.

In response to that earlier post, I've received nine donations, totaling $405.00. My deep thanks to those angels of mercy. That will cover internet service and bills for electricity and telephone (all of which must also be paid within the next week, and which are obviously critical), leaving about $160 for rent. That means I'm $800 short of what is needed. I'm not including money for food. I have no money for food. What I have on hand will last four or five days, and that's it.

If you're able to help at all, it would be deeply, sincerely appreciated. As I've already mentioned, the building owners are required to pay me a relocation fee, since this is a forced, no-fault eviction. But if I were to be late with the rent during this interim period -- well, then they can evict me for non-payment, and not have to pay me a single cent. It would be a gift to them, so this is an awful time to be unable to make the rent payment. I have until the fifth to pay the rent in a timely manner; after that ...

In the meantime, I published the the second, lengthy part of my discussion about the Watkins-Wolfe story and related issues the other day. I'm in the midst of the third installment now; I expect to publish it tomorrow, barring unforeseen complications. The third part will probably be the last, although the subject is turning out to be richer than I had thought. It raises a host of issues, some of which only became clearer to me in the last few days. So the writing is going well. And I have a long list of other topics I want to get to. As I also mentioned, I'm finding that getting back to writing is a wonderful and welcome distraction to the nerve-wracking circumstances of my life at the moment. And they are very nerve-wracking.

A little relief would be a blessing. I offer my immense gratitude in advance for any assistance you may be able to offer. Many, many thanks.