February 05, 2009

No, No: My Armageddon Fantasies Are the Best!

Aw, Christ, there are just so many things to love about this item. Where, O Heavenly Popster, do we begin? When faced with such daunting dilemmas of deliberative doom (as astounding alliteration alights at a [non]-A blog!), I say, begin at the beginning:
President Barack Obama declined Thursday to issue a blanket regulation on whether religious groups that accept federal funds can discriminate when hiring. The White House will instead consider the issue on a case-by-case basis, consulting with Justice Department lawyers when the revamped Office of Faith-Based and Neighborhood Partnerships receives a funding request that raises constitutional questions.

"People on both sides are going to be a little uncomfortable with that," said Joshua DuBois, the director of the White House faith office. But, he added, Obama doesn’t want to rush a decision on such a complex decision without "assessing the effect of the law."
This is deeply admirable. You wouldn't want to extort money from American citizens, proceed to shovel their money to delusional fantasists, and then demand that the fantasists hire people that their delusions proclaim to be evil. That hardly seems sporting. What the hell are delusions for, if not to torment, torture, flay and burn those who decline to partake of them? You don't "want to rush a decision on such a complex decision" (sic, sick, you choose). Besides, there's an auto-da-fe scheduled for tomorrow morning!

The story, and the wonders it contains, proceed:
Obama laid down a clear marker in July campaign speech - "You can’t use…grant money to proselytize," he said then.” But he took a more moderate approach Thursday, when he announced the formation of the Office of Faith-Based and Neighborhood Partnerships.

DuBois said the office has four priorities: economic recovery and poverty reduction; reducing the need for abortion; responsible fatherhood; and international faith dialogue.
Oh, yes: "responsible fatherhood." Obama knows all about that. To be accurate, he knows what white racists know about that. You tell 'em, Mr. O! (Here's a secret. Obama is the whitest black man who could possibly run for president. Running that way was the only way he could win. He has a special attraction for all those white liberals and progressives who continually and eternally tell themselves how fabulously tolerant they are. But all this is a secret. So don't tell anyone, okay?)

And because this blog is specially favored by the big Dadmeister in the Sky, we've saved the best for last:
In a broad expansion of the office’s scope, it will work with the National Security Council “to foster interfaith dialogue with leaders and scholars around the world,” the White House said in a release.

Obama signed the executive order creating the office at the White House, flanked by members of his council.
Oh, Christ, Allah, Buddha, all you guys (you're all guys, wazzup wid dat? as if I didn't know...): this is so buttfuckingly fantastic! The Office of Faith-Based Bullcrap is going to work with the National Security Council -- and they'll all "foster interfaith dialogue with leaders and scholars around the world."

This is almost as good as drugs. Maybe better. I dunno, I'm kinda overwhelmed right now. Just think of it: the U.S. government will take your money, now earned with lots of your blood, sweat, tears and all that terrible stuff, give that money to the Office of Let's Pretend, and then use that money so that a bunch of people from around the world can compare fantasies.

"My God says the infidels must be killed!"

"No, no! My God says we must first try to convert the infidels. If they persist in error, then they must be killed!"

"Let's get real. We torture and murder non-believers because that's one of the major ways we maintain our power and make sure the otherwise uncontrollable people remain subservient and obedient. We've always done it, and we always will. It's the way the system works! And, of course, it is God's will!"

Christ, I love this shit.

I also adore the fact that Obama is just so goddamned American in his religiosity. Which is to say, with regard to any remotely serious grasp of religious doctrine, his understanding is superlatively superficial, trivial and sickeningly sentimental. It is, in a word, lacking.

Okay, God, you hugely big Bad Boy. Smite me!

Hahahahahaha. Still here. Fuck you (or, you know, You), you/You non-existent piece of dung/Dung. (Well, fuck, the censor made me edit that last word. One "s***" too many. Snuck another "fuck" in, though. Snap! He says we have to keep this blog "family-friendly" or some damned thing. But is it the censor? Maybe it's...the voice of God?!?! Oooooooo, I have seen the Light.....nope. But I think I will have another drink.)