January 21, 2009

Visions of Collapse

[The post originally published here has now been deleted. It was drawing some unwelcome, unpleasant and decidedly unhelpful attention.

I'm in very terrible shape right now, for some reasons I've discussed, and for several I haven't. I won't even try to estimate when I might return to regular writing, or if I'm even capable of it at this point. I seriously doubt it.

My sincere thanks to all who have made donations. I have just enough to pay February rent, with a little bit left over. Since it's just a little bit more than the rent, once I'm able to function even slightly better, I'll be selling my books, CDs and DVDs to a secondhand dealer I've dealt with in the past. I won't get much money for them, since I don't have much of anything now, but it's better than nothing. And I'll need it. I'm sorry that people have recently purchased some items from my Wishlist. I'll try to listen to and/or watch the items people have so kindly sent me before they're all sold. I've deleted the link to the Wishlist, and I don't expect to restore it.

I should sell off all those belongings that I can in any case. I think this is generally described as "putting one's affairs in order." We are taught that it's better not to leave unnecessary clutter behind us, although why I should care about such matters at this point is entirely beyond me. And in truth, I don't much care about them; as I say, I'll sell all those belongings I can for whatever money I can get.

There, isn't all that wonderfully cheerful? You have absolutely no idea how filled with goddamned cheer I actually am.]