January 03, 2009

The Transformational Whatchamacallit of Peace, Hope and Change Same Old Deadly Shit ... But Better, Non-Fattening and with Great Abs!

This is so much hope and change that I'm gonna ... I'm gonna ... goshes, gee whizzes, I'm gonna throws up!
President-elect Barack Obama will probably tear down long-standing barriers between the U.S.’s civilian and military space programs to speed up a mission to the moon amid the prospect of a new space race with China.

Obama’s transition team is considering a collaboration between the Defense Department and the National Aeronautics and Space Administration because military rockets may be cheaper and ready sooner than the space agency’s planned launch vehicle, which isn’t slated to fly until 2015, according to people who’ve discussed the idea with the Obama team.

The potential change comes as Pentagon concerns are rising over China’s space ambitions because of what is perceived as an eventual threat to U.S. defense satellites, the lofty battlefield eyes of the military.
"The lofty battlefield eyes of the military..." That is goddamned poetry, man. And galactic death is so cool!

Toward the end of the story:
To boost cooperation between NASA and the Pentagon, Obama has promised to revive the National Aeronautics and Space Council, which oversaw the entire space arena for four presidents, most actively from 1958 to 1973.

The move would build ties between agencies with different cultures and agendas.
Huh. Back to the future, back to 1958 to 1973.

Because that period was so peaceful.

The article also references the alleged critical importance of "retaining U.S. space dominance." Global hegemony just isn't enough, ya know. Not sufficiently hopey-changey.

Well, look. I've reconsidered my last two posts, here and here. I shouldn't be so gloomy and dyspeptic. I think the next four eight hundred years (hey, Barack tells me this is the dawning of another American century, and he is the future, like, for real) will be, like, you know, a total blast.

If you're not one of the millions likely to be incinerated. But you won't be, will you? Of course not.

Get with the program, baby. You don't want them to have to make you. And if you do, that will be your fault.

When I sign up, do I get a nifty ray gun, galactic blaster kind of thingy? To kill all the bad guys? Oh, Barack, transform me, you gorgeous hunk of universal imperial death.

Here's a new slogan: Killing You Can Believe In. It's always been the American dream.

Like, you know, totally.