March 16, 2008

So, Um, We're All Nazis Now?

I am, like, so totally relieved it's Sunday, because I haven't felt so messed up, well, I'll tell you about that intimate, four-day long party attended by 23 of my closest friends some other time. By the way, Peter, you still need to return my outfit. Please have it cleaned first.

Alrighty, moving along. I know, I know, I know that everyone accuses everyone they disagree with of being Nazis. First, it was liberals accusing Bushniks of being Nazis (I have no idea why anyone would do that), and then a cranium-impaired droid like Teh Goldberg comes along and, clever fellow that he is, accuses the liberals right back of being Nazis! This is inspiringly high-level intellectual debate. It totally intimidates me. If I weren't a lefty anarchist atheist faggot WHO KNOWS NO LIMITS, I'd, like, completely shut up right now.

So I happened to read this Roger Kimball thingamajig. Kimball is not exactly of "the left." Nowhere near it, in fact. Most of Kimball's piece is, still one more time, Joan Crawford recycled. You know, this Joan Crawford:
You're all trying to destroy me! You're all against me, you bastards! You broke my heart, and now you want to kill me! But I won't let you, do you hear me? I won't let you! I'm going to live, damn you, I'm going to LIVE!
C'mon, this is intricate, very complex analysis of foreign affairs. I truly do love how all these conservativey-types have this Crawford fixation. Are they all drama queens at heart? Do they dress up in Crawford-style clothes and put on their Crawford wigs and eyelashes for special occasions? (Not that I would know anything about such matters, or know anyone who does this kind of thing. Peter: my outfit. And don't look at Kimball's photo and make snarky comments. Stop that!)

In the midst of all the Joanie-baby hysteria, Kimball writes:
What makes this little pow-wow among "leaders of the world's Muslim nations" significant is not what might follow from it in the way of positive legislation—though you never know—but rather what it betokens as a sign of the times. It is part of a large if still more or less amorphous mobilization of anti-Western sentiment on the part of people who detest Western mores but crave its wealth and Lebensraum. It is not at all clear that we have formulated any compelling response.
So Lebensraum is a crucial part of the West itself? Of the West generally? "It is not at all clear that we have..." -- so, like, Lebensraum belongs to all of us -- and not just to, you know...


This is the conservative view? Well, okay.

Peter, please return my outfit. It comforts me.

By the way, Kimball, I have just the antidote for that "soft jihad" business that so distresses you. Check with someone who might well be your closest pal, that manly, strong, muscular, sweaty Ralph Peters. Ralphie knows better than most that there is no substitute for firm, hard and deep insertion.

Time for Sunday brunch, and a drink! Here's to you, Joan. Your madness is the new normal, as I'm sure you always knew it would be in the fullness of time. And, baby, you had style.

If the world is going to come to an end, we could absolutely use a lot more of that in the time remaining. I'm home all day, Peter. I expect to see you later.