June 08, 2007

Death Gently Beckons...

I'm listening to America's Ignorant Poopyhead with Big Hair, Sean Hannity. I still don't have teevee, so I listen to lots of talk radio. I'm grateful for your sympathy, and even for your pity. Pity is fine sometimes.

Besides exulting in the triumph of "true" American values and the "real" American spirit in the defeat of the immigration bill -- which much more accurately is described as "The Triumph of Racism" -- Hannity has been going on and on about the terrible narcissism revealed by the latest twists in the Paris Hilton saga. Hannity says it's awful for anyone to become a celebrity. It leads people to believe that it's all about them, and their egos become huge. They are shallow people. This is BAD. But life is bigger than we are, sez Sean. It's not all about us. [Save me, please: Hannity is now saying that he never wanted to be on teevee. He never wanted to be in "the public eye" at all. And he gets along "very well" with Donald Trump. Wotta surprise. But Trump raised his kids well, or something.]

This, from a man with a radio show where almost every caller (after careful screening) opens his comments by saying, "Sean, you're a GREAT American!" And Hannity invariably replies, with a touching little catch in his oily, pompous voice: "Oh, thank you, my friend." Sometimes Hannity will say to the caller, in turn: "You're a great American." How either party to this tribal bonding ritual comes by this Immutable and Noble Truth is not revealed. I'm not kidding: almost every caller starts with this. It's been going on for months and months. It's one of the show's signatures.

It's okay if I kill myself now, right?


You people have no mercy at all. God will get you. And I don't think one of you is a Great American. Phooey on you.

Double phooey if you're a Poopyhead with Big Hair.